the secret of being content

You know, with all this talk about recession, I really wasn't sure I was feeling the effects of it. Sure, I was hurting when gas was 4$ a gallon and it makes me really sick when I see the price of orange juice or bread and peanut butter going sky high...but honestly, I've never been rich...well, I realize that is a relative statement because compared to most the world we are very wealthy. My point is, even when Doug and I first got married and things were "normal", we pinched pennies because we had to. Doug allowed me to stay home and with that came sacrifices financially because Doug's line of work wasn't exactly bathing us in dollar bills. We had what we needed to pay the rent and all the bills we had and occasionally go out for dinner and even take day trips to Miami Zoo once in awhile ...but really, those treats were when Doug was getting quarterly bonuses from his boss. Those bonuses stopped about 2 years ago. Now, we are in a different state, in a different house with a different job and a very different pay check amount. With the amount of our income decreased and our bills the same (and in some cases, increased) we are going to have to get creative as this makes no sense on paper... I haven't really felt like the recession is cramping my style at all because we've always been in a position where we had to really pay attention to what we were spending.

This is how I felt before tonight.

Tonight at dinner Lily starts talking about how she wishes we could go out to dinner more and she wishes she could go get ice-cream all the time, etc. She said that she doesn't understand why we can't make more money so she can have all the things she wants. I started to get really annoyed with how she sounded but then it dawned on me that deep inside I was actually feeling that way. I do miss going out to dinner every week. I do miss having enough play money to be able to swing through the drive thru and get a cup of coffee or take the kids to Chick-fil-A. I needed to actually admit that to myself. Thanks to the child in my life who doesn't really think before speaking, she helped me see where my heart was at.
It was a good opportunity for her and I and Doug to really talk about where we all are. We all admitted that we do miss the luxuries we had and we do hope that someday things will look brighter and we can take more trips and plan more outings and eat out at our favorites places . For now, we will make a point to thank God for what He IS giving us daily in those moments where we feel like whining or feeling sorry for ourselves. That is a commitment Lily and I made tonight. What's so funny about this whole situation is the other night Lily was saying "wow, mom, I love that we moved here and we are doing fun things here that we never did in Florida like making s'mores all the time and having fish stick and french fries for dinner!!!" (ha!!) but then tonight she was saying "whoa is me"...so really, she was just being a kid. That is how children are...but I was able to see in myself that I still behave in those childish ways and if she had not voiced her mind tonight, I might not have seen how discontent I was growing. I reminded Lily (and myself) that one day things may be so tight that we won't even be able to buy ingredients for s'mores. I taught her that s'mores are NOT a need (I know many of you may argue that point and say that chocolate IS one of the food groups!!!) but something we want. We are blessed to be able to have things that we want. Doug and I, as her parents, want to bless her with things she wants....and God wants the same for Doug and I as HIS children. We may not be able to eat out once a week or splurge on curtains and new furniture(and the list goes on) but God HAS given us good gifts in other ways. I am close to my parents...Doug is working a job he has a passion for, I'm STILL able to stay home with my kids(and that list goes on too).
David was famous for saying "Bless the Lord, O my soul"....I can't remember where I heard it (maybe my mom..?) but someone told me that David had to command his soul to bless the Lord. It wasn't always a voluntary thing. He was down and out many times and I doubt he was complaining because he didn't get his Chick-fil-a fix for the week!
So with that, I will command my soul to Bless the Lord in all my circumstances. When I have little and when I have much. When I have Cracker Barrel for dinner or when I spend the day preparing meals for my family. When I am able to go the mall and splurge on new clothes or when we spend hours in the Goodwill hunting down what it is we truly need.
I want to be like Paul when he says "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances"...Paul knew what it was to have little and he knew what it was to have a lot. I can't say I've ever truly been in need...There may come a day when that is the case and I hope I can trust God as much as I do now...I thank God for providing ALL our needs. With that, I'm going to go enjoy a cup of coffee and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...for those of you that know me, THAT is the royal treatment!!!! I would choose PB&J over the finest of restaurants....now who's living high on the hog???!!!