COPY CAT!!!!

I think I'm a lot like most people, particularly most women (who would be honest)in how I compare myself to those around me. I might see the inside of a friends house and think "wow, I do not have that kind of talent to decorate so trendy!" or "HOW does she keep her house so clean!!???" or "look at the SIZE of that master bedroom/bathroom!!!!!" I don't think I even need to put down in words the kind of comparing we do with each other's bodies ...or do I? Oh come on..you know EXACTLY what I mean!!!!

Ok but this post isn't exactly about that but rather what kind of heart attitude I'm instilling in my children because those little people are watching and hearing and....mimicking!!!! I'll prove it. Ready?

I have a history of dealing with eating disorders. 15 years ago I spent time in a hospital recovering and I've had countless hours with therapists, shrinks, counselors, friends, pastors, mentors, and parents working through it and trying to see myself the way God sees me. I've come A LONG way. Ok but fast forward to the present time. I can honestly say without hesitation that I never complain about how I look or how I FEEL I look when I'm around my children. Doug gets an earful when we are having pillow talk or on a date alone with each other but I guess I just had enough sense that I knew if I let my kids hear me talking about it (particularly because I have many girls) it would certainly rub off on them. So why is it that my oldest daughter constantly feels insecure and FAT???? Why? Because they not only hear, they watch....then they mimic.

I have too many examples of my kids hearing me and then mimicking me but I'll save that for another post (gulp!).

But this post isn't supposed to be all dreary. Let me encourage you with a sweet story of how they also can mimic behavior. The other afternoon when I got my kids up from their naps, I heard Sage (age 4) holler "WOW, Mommy!!! This box is SO beautiful!!!!" so I walked towards her in the bathroom thinking Lily must have left her jewelry box in there or something and she's pointing to a new box of TISSUES (Dollar General brand I'm sure!) on the back of the commode. I took my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture because it was hysterical to me but I just said "well, thank you Sage!" It doesn't take much.(Notice in the picture how some of the cardboard even ripped off while I took off the lid!!!!) It instantly brought me back to a trip I took with Lily when she was the same age. We traveled to Chicago and were staying in a TRASHED out hotel but I was on serious budget. I walked in holding her hand and instantly saw a huge stain on the rug and was disgusted. Before I could even say anything (and believe me, I was about ready to GO OFF!!!!!), Lily hollered out "OH MOMMY this room is SO gorgeous!!!!!!!". I wish I had a picture to post of that hotel room floor. I took out my camera and snapped a picture and I do have a copy of it somewhere but it's in a box stored away...someday I'll come across it again but I remember thinking, in that moment, WOW God...help me be more appreciative and thankful like this child!

However, we have all seen and heard ungrateful children and it's such a sad thing to see or hear. Even though I have these two precious stories, I also have a list of stories where my kids were NOT grateful and appreciative and those are U-G-L-Y moments. However, I think where we go wrong as parents is when we allow it to go unchecked. We just shake our heads and say "Oh, kids!!!!" or worse, the kid says something that obviously points to the fact that they have heard the same attitude and/or words come out of my mouth or Doug's mouth or that by my actions I have demonstrated that attitude. Perhaps I've huffed and puffed while sitting in a restaurant if the waitress takes just a few minutes too long in refilling my tea or maybe while sitting at the red light the guy in front of me doesn't MOVE right away when it turns green and I give a "friendly" honk that is followed by some mutterings or perhaps I rant about how the dishes my husband washed for me are still caked with grub or the grocery store is out of cilantro...how DARE they run out of CILANTRO!!!???

This pours over into the areas I started off talking about with comparing ourselves with those around us. It's challenging to teach my children that they won't always have what others around them have. One of my daughter's said the other day how great it would be when Daddy makes "all the money in the world" so we could buy a bigger house and I said "why do we need a bigger house?" and she said "so we could all have our own room and have bigger play areas" to which I said "even if we had more money, we would not go buy a bigger home for THOSE reasons" and it was a good teachable moment. It's hard to teach my children that there will always be someone bigger or smaller than them, smarter or dumber than them (yes, I did just use the "d" word), funnier or less funnier than them (I did NOT use the "s" word!!!!), wealthier or poorer than them but I am going to keep trying! I'm also going to keep trying to demonstrate acceptance of how God designed me and demonstrate thankfulness for where God put me to live and demonstrate gratitude for the gifts God placed in me and demonstrate awareness of the things that God did NOT place in me and hopefully turn out some pretty awesome kids that have balance. Kids that aren't wallowing in self pity but also kids that are not prideful brats.

I love the Monster's Inc movie and Doug and I often find ourselves quoting from it. I love where Roz says "I'm watching you Wazowski. Always watching." My kids are always watching. Always.