COPY CAT!!!!

I think I'm a lot like most people, particularly most women (who would be honest)in how I compare myself to those around me. I might see the inside of a friends house and think "wow, I do not have that kind of talent to decorate so trendy!" or "HOW does she keep her house so clean!!???" or "look at the SIZE of that master bedroom/bathroom!!!!!" I don't think I even need to put down in words the kind of comparing we do with each other's bodies ...or do I? Oh come on..you know EXACTLY what I mean!!!!

Ok but this post isn't exactly about that but rather what kind of heart attitude I'm instilling in my children because those little people are watching and hearing and....mimicking!!!! I'll prove it. Ready?

I have a history of dealing with eating disorders. 15 years ago I spent time in a hospital recovering and I've had countless hours with therapists, shrinks, counselors, friends, pastors, mentors, and parents working through it and trying to see myself the way God sees me. I've come A LONG way. Ok but fast forward to the present time. I can honestly say without hesitation that I never complain about how I look or how I FEEL I look when I'm around my children. Doug gets an earful when we are having pillow talk or on a date alone with each other but I guess I just had enough sense that I knew if I let my kids hear me talking about it (particularly because I have many girls) it would certainly rub off on them. So why is it that my oldest daughter constantly feels insecure and FAT???? Why? Because they not only hear, they watch....then they mimic.

I have too many examples of my kids hearing me and then mimicking me but I'll save that for another post (gulp!).

But this post isn't supposed to be all dreary. Let me encourage you with a sweet story of how they also can mimic behavior. The other afternoon when I got my kids up from their naps, I heard Sage (age 4) holler "WOW, Mommy!!! This box is SO beautiful!!!!" so I walked towards her in the bathroom thinking Lily must have left her jewelry box in there or something and she's pointing to a new box of TISSUES (Dollar General brand I'm sure!) on the back of the commode. I took my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture because it was hysterical to me but I just said "well, thank you Sage!" It doesn't take much.(Notice in the picture how some of the cardboard even ripped off while I took off the lid!!!!) It instantly brought me back to a trip I took with Lily when she was the same age. We traveled to Chicago and were staying in a TRASHED out hotel but I was on serious budget. I walked in holding her hand and instantly saw a huge stain on the rug and was disgusted. Before I could even say anything (and believe me, I was about ready to GO OFF!!!!!), Lily hollered out "OH MOMMY this room is SO gorgeous!!!!!!!". I wish I had a picture to post of that hotel room floor. I took out my camera and snapped a picture and I do have a copy of it somewhere but it's in a box stored away...someday I'll come across it again but I remember thinking, in that moment, WOW God...help me be more appreciative and thankful like this child!

However, we have all seen and heard ungrateful children and it's such a sad thing to see or hear. Even though I have these two precious stories, I also have a list of stories where my kids were NOT grateful and appreciative and those are U-G-L-Y moments. However, I think where we go wrong as parents is when we allow it to go unchecked. We just shake our heads and say "Oh, kids!!!!" or worse, the kid says something that obviously points to the fact that they have heard the same attitude and/or words come out of my mouth or Doug's mouth or that by my actions I have demonstrated that attitude. Perhaps I've huffed and puffed while sitting in a restaurant if the waitress takes just a few minutes too long in refilling my tea or maybe while sitting at the red light the guy in front of me doesn't MOVE right away when it turns green and I give a "friendly" honk that is followed by some mutterings or perhaps I rant about how the dishes my husband washed for me are still caked with grub or the grocery store is out of cilantro...how DARE they run out of CILANTRO!!!???

This pours over into the areas I started off talking about with comparing ourselves with those around us. It's challenging to teach my children that they won't always have what others around them have. One of my daughter's said the other day how great it would be when Daddy makes "all the money in the world" so we could buy a bigger house and I said "why do we need a bigger house?" and she said "so we could all have our own room and have bigger play areas" to which I said "even if we had more money, we would not go buy a bigger home for THOSE reasons" and it was a good teachable moment. It's hard to teach my children that there will always be someone bigger or smaller than them, smarter or dumber than them (yes, I did just use the "d" word), funnier or less funnier than them (I did NOT use the "s" word!!!!), wealthier or poorer than them but I am going to keep trying! I'm also going to keep trying to demonstrate acceptance of how God designed me and demonstrate thankfulness for where God put me to live and demonstrate gratitude for the gifts God placed in me and demonstrate awareness of the things that God did NOT place in me and hopefully turn out some pretty awesome kids that have balance. Kids that aren't wallowing in self pity but also kids that are not prideful brats.

I love the Monster's Inc movie and Doug and I often find ourselves quoting from it. I love where Roz says "I'm watching you Wazowski. Always watching." My kids are always watching. Always.

My FATHER is a biochemist....

I love how adoption has impacted my family. My oldest child was adopted by my husband 5 months after we got married. She was 5 years old at the time. We have now added 4 more children to our mix giving us four beautiful daughters and one baby boy. We think we are done birthing children (we have taken it into our own hands with some help from a urologist however it's totally NOT in our hands) but are hopeful about the possibility of adopting or at the least fostering children in the future.
The above mentioned child, Lily is now 11 years old and she will often say "who do I get that from?" in reference to a personality trait someone might point out or the length of her legs or the color of her eyes or the fact that she N-E-E-D-S a lot of sleep, etc.
The other day we were driving and she said something witty and laughingly asked "so who do I get THAT from?" and I said "your daddy for sure!" and we both laughed...then a few seconds of silence went by and she said "you know, sometimes I REALLY wonder about it" and I said "wonder about what?" and she said "well, it has got to be coincidence that I am artistic like daddy but I wish I really DID get somethings from him" and I had a teachable moment staring me straight in the face.
Before I continue with what I proceeded to tell my wondering daughter, I know that I will be confronted (even if not verbally) with skeptics. What I'm about to say won't make sense theologically or scientifically but when God speaks truth into your heart, it doesn't really matter what man might say or think. This is what I love about about the LIVING Word of God. You won't find a direct response in God's Word to every gray area in the world today but walking with God and staying connected to the vine and allowing Jesus to fill you and manifest life through you, gives you revelation after revelation of His Love and Grace for your lives and even for the sin that snares us that we must confess and live out consequences from.
Wow..it was so awesome. I told Lily to listen closely to what I was about to say. I told her that God destined for Doug to be her daddy. God superseded the human understanding of Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA and YES I used that word because she learned about it last year in homeschooling!) and placed specific traits in her when she was formed that were found in the DNA of her earthly father, Douglas Milton Thomas. I told her that it's no coincidence that she is artistic like her daddy, and witty like her daddy...and needs SLEEP like her daddy...and the list goes on. Is this scientifically provable? Um, I think not. What does the Bible say about it? Hmmm...deep thoughts. The Bible is full of adoption stories! Moses was adopted by Pharoah's daughter (Exodus 2), Esther was adopted by her cousin (Esther 2), Samuel might not have officially been adopted by the priest Eli (I Samuel 1)but it's pretty close I would say! Our own Savior was adopted by his earthly father and his mother was his surrogate.
Ephesians 1:4-8 says "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding...
Just as we are given a new name, a new heart beat,and become a new man when we are adopted by our Lord so Lily was given a new name when Doug took her as his own...but I believe it was predestined that Doug would be her daddy therefore our amazing God hard wired Doug's DNA into Lily when she was conceived in my womb regardless of how that conception came to be. THAT is just how loving and redemptive and GRACIOUS the God that I love and serve is. THAT is why I know that my story is a story of grace and forgiveness and I pray it continues on for generations to come in the lives of my children and their children.
I still remember standing in the courtroom when we were finalizing Lily's adoption and the judge explained to us how serious this decision was. An adoption is more final than birthing a child according to the words this judge used. She said you can disown a child you give birth to but you can't do that with a child you adopt (perhaps this is different state to state...I don't really care. I just know how serious the whole process was). Before this moment I had never seen Doug cry and it was a very beautiful moment. He has never shed a tear watching his four other children come into this world but he did shed a tear when his FIRSTBORN took his name permanently.


So, the way I see it, my earthly father is an naval reactors engineer (I'll tell you all about that awesome man one of these times...) but my HEAVENLY father is a biochemist....or a forensic scientist or a genetic counselor or something fancy like that. The point is, HE created my family and did a tremendous job. I'm so glad I let Him figure it all out!

the art of blogging....i do not have....

Yea so like I said in my FB status today, I REALLY fail at a)posting on my blog and b)reading other blogs! I'm totally at peace with this for the MOST part....there must be a small percentage of me that hates the fact because otherwise I wouldn't comment about it...right??
So, my "favorites" is filled to the brim with blogs that are GOOD blogs to read...funny, useful, spiritual, insightful, sad, knowledgeable, helpful...etc...but I have to have TIME to read them. That is my biggest problem. Yea yea yea..I know we all have the same 24 hours in a day but it has to be free time that I use in order to do this, correct? My day is filled with things that all moms and/or housewives need to do. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, sorting, meal planning, grocery shopping....I also make it a priority to BE with my kids as far as talking to them, listening to them, going outside with them, taking them places, reading to them, watching movies with them, researching with them....homeschooling them....So, basically from sun up to sun down I have something that needs to be done with few increments of time that is "free". This is why I LOVE Facebook...because I don't have to really go deep. I can post a few funny or insightful thoughts or read a few funny or insightful thoughts...I can keep up with pictures of friends and their families or post pictures of my friends and family....I can reconnect with people and have a way to contact them for further relationship if I want. Blogging, however, requires more than what I can do in "increments of free time". First, I can't concentrate when I'm reading unless it's VERY quiet in the house so this only happens before 6:30 am or after 9pm and I really enjoy time with God or Doug. If not spending time with those two, I might be meal planning (which also requires quiet for me) or homeschooling planning (um..yea...REALLY quiet please!!!!) or talking on the phone (which I MUCH prefer to blogging) or having coffee (or Dr. Pepper) with a friend in person...again, MUCH prefer that to blogging!
However, some of my friends(or family) are not close enough to meet with in person or they have schedules that aren't matching mine so they can't talk before 6:30 am or after 9pm. THOSE are the blogs that I mentally try to keep up with. I know there is a plethora of information to be had out there and once in awhile a friend might send me a link to a great article or I might come across something in my travels online and I often am so blessed by it but I do not save any more websites in my "favorites" or make any promise to follow someone or anything like that.
So, why am I actually taking the time this afternoon to blog???? Because the saddest thing happened today in the store and I wanted to share....also, because Doug won't be home for dinner tonight so I'm not using my "free" time this afternoon to prepare a hot and HEALTHY meal (something he GREATLY appreciates, needs, expects (this sounds negative but it's not) and something I make a HUGE priority around here... So, I'm blogging....
There is a cashier in my local grocery store that I have seen several times since I was pregnant with Cedar and the store opened. I will never forget her although she doesn't seem to recognize me. She made awful comments to me while pregnant regarding how much she "loathes/hates girls" and how she doesn't envy me with FOUR girls and how lucky I better be to finally have a boy. She's made comments that made Lily cringe and so I really avoid her line if I have the kids (although that will now change). I don't see her often anyway because this store isn't one I frequent very often. Anyway, today I had a few things to get and I ran in...with the five kids (which I have to state for the record...five is NOT a lot of kids to me....) So we have THREE carts that we are pushing (for only about 12 items...(that's another post)...and as we are checking out I asked Lily to go sit over to the side with Cedar while I was checking out. This was because this cashier is always flinging mud so I was not really wanting Lily to hear anything nasty. So I was standing there with the other three and the lady greeted me nicely and warmly and said "Wow, these kids are so well behaved and lovely! They are doing amazing!!!! Are they all yours????" I told her they were and I thanked her for the compliment and she continued to say "Wow...five kids. I would slit my wrists if I had five kids". This lady was in her late 40's I would guess and she has already told me in the past that she has two boys that are teenagers. I sorta laughed it off when she said that because I was literally speechless (WHY????) and she looked me smack in the face and said "I am NOT kidding". She looked like a ghost. I had this bubble well up inside my stomach and I teared up. I just can't even imagine what she's so upset about inside but I will not be avoiding her line anymore. I am going to be praying for her and looking for opportunities to bring my children through her line and be a blessing to her. May God shine HIS light down on her through me and my family...and other families that go through her line.
Thanks for reading today. It will probably be another 9 months or more before I post again but I'll try! :)