COPY CAT!!!!

I think I'm a lot like most people, particularly most women (who would be honest)in how I compare myself to those around me. I might see the inside of a friends house and think "wow, I do not have that kind of talent to decorate so trendy!" or "HOW does she keep her house so clean!!???" or "look at the SIZE of that master bedroom/bathroom!!!!!" I don't think I even need to put down in words the kind of comparing we do with each other's bodies ...or do I? Oh come on..you know EXACTLY what I mean!!!!

Ok but this post isn't exactly about that but rather what kind of heart attitude I'm instilling in my children because those little people are watching and hearing and....mimicking!!!! I'll prove it. Ready?

I have a history of dealing with eating disorders. 15 years ago I spent time in a hospital recovering and I've had countless hours with therapists, shrinks, counselors, friends, pastors, mentors, and parents working through it and trying to see myself the way God sees me. I've come A LONG way. Ok but fast forward to the present time. I can honestly say without hesitation that I never complain about how I look or how I FEEL I look when I'm around my children. Doug gets an earful when we are having pillow talk or on a date alone with each other but I guess I just had enough sense that I knew if I let my kids hear me talking about it (particularly because I have many girls) it would certainly rub off on them. So why is it that my oldest daughter constantly feels insecure and FAT???? Why? Because they not only hear, they watch....then they mimic.

I have too many examples of my kids hearing me and then mimicking me but I'll save that for another post (gulp!).

But this post isn't supposed to be all dreary. Let me encourage you with a sweet story of how they also can mimic behavior. The other afternoon when I got my kids up from their naps, I heard Sage (age 4) holler "WOW, Mommy!!! This box is SO beautiful!!!!" so I walked towards her in the bathroom thinking Lily must have left her jewelry box in there or something and she's pointing to a new box of TISSUES (Dollar General brand I'm sure!) on the back of the commode. I took my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture because it was hysterical to me but I just said "well, thank you Sage!" It doesn't take much.(Notice in the picture how some of the cardboard even ripped off while I took off the lid!!!!) It instantly brought me back to a trip I took with Lily when she was the same age. We traveled to Chicago and were staying in a TRASHED out hotel but I was on serious budget. I walked in holding her hand and instantly saw a huge stain on the rug and was disgusted. Before I could even say anything (and believe me, I was about ready to GO OFF!!!!!), Lily hollered out "OH MOMMY this room is SO gorgeous!!!!!!!". I wish I had a picture to post of that hotel room floor. I took out my camera and snapped a picture and I do have a copy of it somewhere but it's in a box stored away...someday I'll come across it again but I remember thinking, in that moment, WOW God...help me be more appreciative and thankful like this child!

However, we have all seen and heard ungrateful children and it's such a sad thing to see or hear. Even though I have these two precious stories, I also have a list of stories where my kids were NOT grateful and appreciative and those are U-G-L-Y moments. However, I think where we go wrong as parents is when we allow it to go unchecked. We just shake our heads and say "Oh, kids!!!!" or worse, the kid says something that obviously points to the fact that they have heard the same attitude and/or words come out of my mouth or Doug's mouth or that by my actions I have demonstrated that attitude. Perhaps I've huffed and puffed while sitting in a restaurant if the waitress takes just a few minutes too long in refilling my tea or maybe while sitting at the red light the guy in front of me doesn't MOVE right away when it turns green and I give a "friendly" honk that is followed by some mutterings or perhaps I rant about how the dishes my husband washed for me are still caked with grub or the grocery store is out of cilantro...how DARE they run out of CILANTRO!!!???

This pours over into the areas I started off talking about with comparing ourselves with those around us. It's challenging to teach my children that they won't always have what others around them have. One of my daughter's said the other day how great it would be when Daddy makes "all the money in the world" so we could buy a bigger house and I said "why do we need a bigger house?" and she said "so we could all have our own room and have bigger play areas" to which I said "even if we had more money, we would not go buy a bigger home for THOSE reasons" and it was a good teachable moment. It's hard to teach my children that there will always be someone bigger or smaller than them, smarter or dumber than them (yes, I did just use the "d" word), funnier or less funnier than them (I did NOT use the "s" word!!!!), wealthier or poorer than them but I am going to keep trying! I'm also going to keep trying to demonstrate acceptance of how God designed me and demonstrate thankfulness for where God put me to live and demonstrate gratitude for the gifts God placed in me and demonstrate awareness of the things that God did NOT place in me and hopefully turn out some pretty awesome kids that have balance. Kids that aren't wallowing in self pity but also kids that are not prideful brats.

I love the Monster's Inc movie and Doug and I often find ourselves quoting from it. I love where Roz says "I'm watching you Wazowski. Always watching." My kids are always watching. Always.

My FATHER is a biochemist....

I love how adoption has impacted my family. My oldest child was adopted by my husband 5 months after we got married. She was 5 years old at the time. We have now added 4 more children to our mix giving us four beautiful daughters and one baby boy. We think we are done birthing children (we have taken it into our own hands with some help from a urologist however it's totally NOT in our hands) but are hopeful about the possibility of adopting or at the least fostering children in the future.
The above mentioned child, Lily is now 11 years old and she will often say "who do I get that from?" in reference to a personality trait someone might point out or the length of her legs or the color of her eyes or the fact that she N-E-E-D-S a lot of sleep, etc.
The other day we were driving and she said something witty and laughingly asked "so who do I get THAT from?" and I said "your daddy for sure!" and we both laughed...then a few seconds of silence went by and she said "you know, sometimes I REALLY wonder about it" and I said "wonder about what?" and she said "well, it has got to be coincidence that I am artistic like daddy but I wish I really DID get somethings from him" and I had a teachable moment staring me straight in the face.
Before I continue with what I proceeded to tell my wondering daughter, I know that I will be confronted (even if not verbally) with skeptics. What I'm about to say won't make sense theologically or scientifically but when God speaks truth into your heart, it doesn't really matter what man might say or think. This is what I love about about the LIVING Word of God. You won't find a direct response in God's Word to every gray area in the world today but walking with God and staying connected to the vine and allowing Jesus to fill you and manifest life through you, gives you revelation after revelation of His Love and Grace for your lives and even for the sin that snares us that we must confess and live out consequences from.
Wow..it was so awesome. I told Lily to listen closely to what I was about to say. I told her that God destined for Doug to be her daddy. God superseded the human understanding of Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA and YES I used that word because she learned about it last year in homeschooling!) and placed specific traits in her when she was formed that were found in the DNA of her earthly father, Douglas Milton Thomas. I told her that it's no coincidence that she is artistic like her daddy, and witty like her daddy...and needs SLEEP like her daddy...and the list goes on. Is this scientifically provable? Um, I think not. What does the Bible say about it? Hmmm...deep thoughts. The Bible is full of adoption stories! Moses was adopted by Pharoah's daughter (Exodus 2), Esther was adopted by her cousin (Esther 2), Samuel might not have officially been adopted by the priest Eli (I Samuel 1)but it's pretty close I would say! Our own Savior was adopted by his earthly father and his mother was his surrogate.
Ephesians 1:4-8 says "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding...
Just as we are given a new name, a new heart beat,and become a new man when we are adopted by our Lord so Lily was given a new name when Doug took her as his own...but I believe it was predestined that Doug would be her daddy therefore our amazing God hard wired Doug's DNA into Lily when she was conceived in my womb regardless of how that conception came to be. THAT is just how loving and redemptive and GRACIOUS the God that I love and serve is. THAT is why I know that my story is a story of grace and forgiveness and I pray it continues on for generations to come in the lives of my children and their children.
I still remember standing in the courtroom when we were finalizing Lily's adoption and the judge explained to us how serious this decision was. An adoption is more final than birthing a child according to the words this judge used. She said you can disown a child you give birth to but you can't do that with a child you adopt (perhaps this is different state to state...I don't really care. I just know how serious the whole process was). Before this moment I had never seen Doug cry and it was a very beautiful moment. He has never shed a tear watching his four other children come into this world but he did shed a tear when his FIRSTBORN took his name permanently.


So, the way I see it, my earthly father is an naval reactors engineer (I'll tell you all about that awesome man one of these times...) but my HEAVENLY father is a biochemist....or a forensic scientist or a genetic counselor or something fancy like that. The point is, HE created my family and did a tremendous job. I'm so glad I let Him figure it all out!

the art of blogging....i do not have....

Yea so like I said in my FB status today, I REALLY fail at a)posting on my blog and b)reading other blogs! I'm totally at peace with this for the MOST part....there must be a small percentage of me that hates the fact because otherwise I wouldn't comment about it...right??
So, my "favorites" is filled to the brim with blogs that are GOOD blogs to read...funny, useful, spiritual, insightful, sad, knowledgeable, helpful...etc...but I have to have TIME to read them. That is my biggest problem. Yea yea yea..I know we all have the same 24 hours in a day but it has to be free time that I use in order to do this, correct? My day is filled with things that all moms and/or housewives need to do. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, sorting, meal planning, grocery shopping....I also make it a priority to BE with my kids as far as talking to them, listening to them, going outside with them, taking them places, reading to them, watching movies with them, researching with them....homeschooling them....So, basically from sun up to sun down I have something that needs to be done with few increments of time that is "free". This is why I LOVE Facebook...because I don't have to really go deep. I can post a few funny or insightful thoughts or read a few funny or insightful thoughts...I can keep up with pictures of friends and their families or post pictures of my friends and family....I can reconnect with people and have a way to contact them for further relationship if I want. Blogging, however, requires more than what I can do in "increments of free time". First, I can't concentrate when I'm reading unless it's VERY quiet in the house so this only happens before 6:30 am or after 9pm and I really enjoy time with God or Doug. If not spending time with those two, I might be meal planning (which also requires quiet for me) or homeschooling planning (um..yea...REALLY quiet please!!!!) or talking on the phone (which I MUCH prefer to blogging) or having coffee (or Dr. Pepper) with a friend in person...again, MUCH prefer that to blogging!
However, some of my friends(or family) are not close enough to meet with in person or they have schedules that aren't matching mine so they can't talk before 6:30 am or after 9pm. THOSE are the blogs that I mentally try to keep up with. I know there is a plethora of information to be had out there and once in awhile a friend might send me a link to a great article or I might come across something in my travels online and I often am so blessed by it but I do not save any more websites in my "favorites" or make any promise to follow someone or anything like that.
So, why am I actually taking the time this afternoon to blog???? Because the saddest thing happened today in the store and I wanted to share....also, because Doug won't be home for dinner tonight so I'm not using my "free" time this afternoon to prepare a hot and HEALTHY meal (something he GREATLY appreciates, needs, expects (this sounds negative but it's not) and something I make a HUGE priority around here... So, I'm blogging....
There is a cashier in my local grocery store that I have seen several times since I was pregnant with Cedar and the store opened. I will never forget her although she doesn't seem to recognize me. She made awful comments to me while pregnant regarding how much she "loathes/hates girls" and how she doesn't envy me with FOUR girls and how lucky I better be to finally have a boy. She's made comments that made Lily cringe and so I really avoid her line if I have the kids (although that will now change). I don't see her often anyway because this store isn't one I frequent very often. Anyway, today I had a few things to get and I ran in...with the five kids (which I have to state for the record...five is NOT a lot of kids to me....) So we have THREE carts that we are pushing (for only about 12 items...(that's another post)...and as we are checking out I asked Lily to go sit over to the side with Cedar while I was checking out. This was because this cashier is always flinging mud so I was not really wanting Lily to hear anything nasty. So I was standing there with the other three and the lady greeted me nicely and warmly and said "Wow, these kids are so well behaved and lovely! They are doing amazing!!!! Are they all yours????" I told her they were and I thanked her for the compliment and she continued to say "Wow...five kids. I would slit my wrists if I had five kids". This lady was in her late 40's I would guess and she has already told me in the past that she has two boys that are teenagers. I sorta laughed it off when she said that because I was literally speechless (WHY????) and she looked me smack in the face and said "I am NOT kidding". She looked like a ghost. I had this bubble well up inside my stomach and I teared up. I just can't even imagine what she's so upset about inside but I will not be avoiding her line anymore. I am going to be praying for her and looking for opportunities to bring my children through her line and be a blessing to her. May God shine HIS light down on her through me and my family...and other families that go through her line.
Thanks for reading today. It will probably be another 9 months or more before I post again but I'll try! :)

We welcome a son....

....September 23, 2010 at 8:59am our fifth child...our first son....Cedar James Thomas.
He certainly arrived with a bang at a whopping 10 pounds 20 3/4 inches long. He was born at home with a midwife and things were great but it was certainly not as smooth as my other labors although Doug would say it was....All I will say is 2 pounds make a HUGE difference in delivering natural! HA!
Anyway, I haven't posted in months and quite honestly I'm too tired right now to post much (even though I have an excellent sleeper on my hands!) but I wanted to at least announce it and post some pictures of the boy that has stolen my heart in one weeks time....

Happy Mother's Day 2010

I have much to celebrate this Mother's Day. I will be having my first SON in September. I can hardly believe we are having a boy! It's normally very exciting for us to wait until the actual moment of delivery to find out our baby's gender but things changed this time around...long story. That's all you need to know. Ha!

I have the most amazing mother and God has allowed us to be in closer proximity so we have gotten to spend more time together this past 15 months since we moved here to Maryland and my girls have enjoyed that tremendously as well.

My girls bring so much joy to my life and although it's very tiring and seems like the work is never done (even ON Mother's Day!), I just love having the job of being their mommy!

The last thing I want to say is that we are not a traditional family in terms of celebrating things the same way it seems everyone else does and I'm not necessarily saying I LIKE that but it's just how we are. I did receive this beautiful video from my dear husband, however, and I love him for making it for me. What a treasure!

I'm done being CRABBY today!

Our sweet neighbor called around 11:30 today to see if he could bring lunch over to the girls but they were already in their chairs eating so he said he would make it a snack for them for later...I asked what it was and he said "oh just some Maryland crab cakes"....I just froze.
I did NOT grow up eating seafood. I do NOT like the smell of seafood of any kind. I did NOT want him to bring it over here...but I DO love George dearly and it was such a special offer. So, 4 hours later he called over here asking Lily to come over to help him get here (since we have snow on the ground and he's very slow going) so off she went and I was VERY grumpy here at the house just waiting for it to drift into the house. I was busy in the kitchen making the Pioneer Woman's Olive Oil Cakes and trying to not think about the little fishes that were about to enter my house....ok, crustaceans...whatever!
Well, in they came and sick I quickly became from the smell (my pregnant body is in total morning sickness mode right now!) so Doug herded the girls to their chairs and I quickly retreated to my room to regain composure. I didn't want to hurt his feelings...I came out and decided I was going to at least take a bite...and then another bite...and then another bite...and WOW I liked them!!! The smell I could DEFINITELY live without. It was like a wet dog smell mixed with a sick child smell....THAT defines the smell of seafood to me....but I can get a clothes pin or something...I mean, crab is really great stuff! He prepared them so nicely and served them with tomatoes (like they do in the restaurants he said) and he brought a big bag of potato chips because he couldn't find french fries....what a sweetie! I thanked him over and over again and told him I never would have tried them otherwise. The girls mostly enjoyed them...Holly and Sage took a few nibbles but mostly scarfed down the tomato and chips...Lily and Aspen LOVED them...I know Doug ate some so I'm assuming he liked them too.
So, this is my survival of the fittest story for today. I did learn a lesson in trying new things.
I think you all should go out and have some crab cakes today! If you come visit me, I'll try to make them!
Thank you George!

How many arrows does a quiver hold anyway?

Does your quiver look like this:



Or like this:





4 weeks ago Doug and I were surprised to find out we were expecting our 5th child!!! The truth is, I cried immediately and spent several days numb to this whole idea. We did want more children but due to some personal circumstances in my life that I'm not one to really blog about at this time and also due to the change in our financial situation at our current job, this wasn't the best of news. I had a tremendous amount of guilt over the tears. I love children. I want a lot of children. But the reality of this new baby coming scared me tremendously. Doug woke up a few mornings later and told me, "Lisa, it's time to get excited about this new baby!" So, we spent several moments talking about if it would be a boy or a girl and what names we would pick and how exciting it was going to be. I decided to call some friends and tell them the news although it's still very early to be sharing this news. Lily was thrilled to hear that she would be a big sister again but she's very upset that we won't find out the sex of the baby until it's birthday. She's so funny about that!
Doug and I talked about Psalm 127 where it says
3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

So, how full is a quiver anyway? I have had many families tell me over the years that 5 is a full quiver but just today I had someone tell me that her husband is an archer and it's 8 that make it full. My research is showing me that some carry 2 or 3 and some carry 15.
I've had a lot of people tell me I'm crazy to be having another child and that I must never want to sleep again. I've had people say "WHOA" or "GOOD GRIEF WOMAN"...I'm never one that does well at hiding my responses but seeing as I definitely take the cake in hearing the most ridiculous comments as a pregnant person, I've gotten very good at biting my tongue. But these comments have got me thinking and I've finally decided how I really feel about this whole thing.
Children are gifts and rewards from God, not burdens. They are not just a result of sexual intercourse. Nowadays, man thinks he can control conception by abortion or using fertility treatment or even natural family planning methods of counting your fertile days, etc, but the Bible teaches that conception is truly a gift from the Creator, Yahweh.
Who decides how full your quiver is? I'm here to suggest that you allow the Creator and the originator of life to continue doing what He's always done best. He knows our days (Psalm 139:16) He knows the plans for each one of those days (Jeremiah 29:11) He knows what we will come up against and gives us a measure of faith to use to help us (Hebrews 11:1) He promises to help us in our time of need and exhaustion (Matthew 11:28)
I'm not suggesting that you and your spouse never use birth control or have 18 kids but I am suggesting that you seek God with this decision just like you do with all the other decisions of your life (hopefully). I think a lot of people trust that God can answer their questions regarding jobs or schools or homes or friends or finances but they don't trust God to show them the plan in this area. I can think of countless people who have told me "I wish we had decided to have more children!" but their child bearing years are long gone. Society seems to say how many kids we can have based on our income or status in the community, etc, but why is no one asking God what His plan is?
I had a friend recently tell me she was "weak" because she only wanted 2 children and it really tore me up. Does that make one weak? I think if someone believes God has spoken to their situation and said "your quiver is full with two" then that shows great strength.
I encourage you to seek the Lord regarding this topic. Forget about the job you have or the paycheck you don't have or the house you live in (or don't live in) or the stress you have. God does give us the responsibility to manage our life and to make decisions in our life so there is no shame in deciding how many children to have...or is there? I'm seeing it demonstrated that the family that has 1-3 children are looked at as more responsible than the family that has 4-18 children...I'm done trying to figure it out. I don't know how full a quiver is but we are up to 5 it looks like and I'm thankful for each one of them. It's a blessing to have them. It's not more spiritual, it's just more opportunities for blessing through them and because of them.